Hi Rock Star Parents!
Happy day to you. How’s it going for you today? As my mother used to ask me – “Who’s winning? You or the bear?” For me as a parent, some days I feel like I’m winning, and some days I know for sure the bear is in control. Over the weekend, I had an epiphany of sorts. In our house, just like in most other homes, we have some general rules about how we live that everyone in the household knows. For example, the kids aren’t allowed to eat or drink in the family room, they have to keep their rooms clean most of the time, they have to put away their clean clothes – that sort of thing. So, at one point over the weekend, I walked downstairs to find one of my sons sitting in the family room with a drink and an entire bag of pretzels in his lap. Now sometimes I tend to go on rampages through the house when I get fed up with clothes left out, shoes all over the floor of every room, backpacks plopped anywhere – generally things not put away – it makes me insane and some days I can handle it better than others. The same goes for basic daily rules that are broken.
So in that moment, I had a choice. I could flip out like I often do (I know none of you Rock Stars ever do that:), or I could do something different. Thankfully, I chose differently. “Ok, so it looks like there are at least ten different violations happening here, and I’m not happy about any of them. I know that this isn’t REALLY happening right now, correct? I’m sure I must be seeing things. What I’m going to offer you, is a RESET BUTTON. I’m going to turn around and I’m going to give you a chance to completely RESET the scene I’m looking at right now.” He laughed and as I turned around, he began to scramble to make things right. That was it. Situation resolved. No argument exploded, nobody yelled – in fact, we were able to laugh. All because I did something different and approached a typical situation in an atypical way.
As I walked away from that exchange, I began to think. That is truly the best tool for parents AND kids – the RESET BUTTON. Think about it. We use one all the time. Wi-Fi not working right? Hit the RESET BUTTON and it works great. TV channels not coming in clearly? Hit the RESET BUTTON. Computer running slowly? RESET BUTTON it is. We might yell at the tv or get frustrated that the computer isn’t working great, but if we can just be patient and wait that 30 seconds after we hit RESET for things to improve, it usually does.
The same can be said for parenting. We have a RESET BUTTON in our pocket at all times. Why don’t we use it? We just so often find ourselves rushing, spinning, trying to get to the next thing that we don’t pause the 30 seconds to allow for a reboot. Yelling and screaming at your kids? Hit RESET and try it a different way. Kids not listening or cooperating? Let them have the RESET button and try it again. We constantly make mistakes with our parenting, with our partners, and even with ourselves. The very best tool we have is the RESET BUTTON that allows us to try it again differently over and over if we need to, and even if we think we’ve really messed up.
So hold the RESET BUTTON close, and let me know how it works for you! Keep on rockin, Rock Stars!